Procrastination is usually about emotion, not laziness. When a task feels boring, overwhelming or upsetting, the brain’s threat system overrides planning and focus, so escaping feels safer. Getting unstuck starts with naming the feeling underneath, then using a getting-started strategy that fits you, like working for just 10 minutes or starting with a task you enjoy.
Pick up that rock and look what’s underneath.
Yesterday afternoon at 3 p.m., I was lying on my couch, playing WGT golf on my phone. Yes, it was a bit sad. I had plenty to do: my day job running a small education company needed my energy, lots of coaching clients each with their own needs needed my empathy, my three teens were all at home – they just needed me to drive them places, and Mocha, my dog was whining at me for her afternoon walk.
I had barely gotten any work done for the last two days. I am not a procrastinator by nature and so my shame was rising quickly.
Naming What I Was Feeling
I decided I had to practice what I preach: pick up my rock of procrastination and see what emotion was underneath. What was bugging me? I decided to take them one-by one.
It was the summer slump for the education company where a lot of our customers disappeared for about 6 weeks. Would my work make a difference?
The coaching was going just fine but I had just lost a long-term client the day before. I had made great progress with this teenager but we had a long way to go. His mom was super appreciative but running into financial issues so she had to take a break. That was upsetting.
My kids are great but it was an off week for them, no school and no work. So they were out of routine and running me ragged. All I ever wanted in my life was to be a dad – shouldn’t I be enjoying them instead of feeling so grumpy about driving them around?
And Mocha, well Mocha is great. She loves me unconditionally but she is demanding and barky when she wants a walk and was just pissing me off.
Okay, emotions identified. Now I realized why I was playing WGT golf in the middle of the day. I was escaping my frustrations, guilt, and annoyance.
Neurobiology of Procrastination
Procrastination results from the conflict behind the rational executive function planning centers in the pre-frontal cortex of the brain and the emotional, threat-detection centers in the limbic system. When faced with a task that is challenging, boring, overwhelming, or upsetting, the limbic system sees the task as a threat and overwhelms the executive functions of Getting Started, Focus and Follow-Through, and Getting Finished. Fleeing to the comfort of my golf game on the couch was providing me protection from my worries.
Getting Started
So how was I going to get out of this? There are lots and lots of Getting Started strategies – Get started for 10 minutes, make a public declaration, and find an accountability partner are some good ones. But you have to use the strategy that works best for your brain; for me, the best is to find a task that I know that I love. That is often writing.
I had been ginning up a theory the last two weeks about how ADHD folks are going to fare in the age of AI. My ideas on this subject felt fresh and my vantage point as both an ADHD expert and a Silicon Valley veteran made me feel like I had something important to say.
I picked myself up off the couch, moved to the kitchen, and started writing. I barely stopped until 11 p.m.. But it wasn’t until I picked up the rock of my procrastination and examined the emotions underneath that I was able to get myself going.
Examine your emotions
Many times when we procrastinate, we don’t even realize that we are frustrated, scared of failure, anxious, or overwhelmed. It takes practice to be able to look into yourself and identify how you are feeling and why you are not working. But with practice, you can learn to figure out your emotions, and then design strategies that will work for you. So next time you are lying on the couch at 3 p.m. playing a pathetic golf game on your phone, pick up the rock of procrastination and see what’s underneath it.
Quick questions
Why do people with ADHD procrastinate?
Often because a task feels boring, overwhelming or scary, and the brain treats it like a threat. ADHD already makes getting started, staying focused and finishing harder, so avoiding the task brings quick relief.
How can I stop procrastinating right now?
Ask what you’re feeling about the task, then pick one starter: work on it for 10 minutes, tell someone what you’ll do, find an accountability partner, or begin with a part you enjoy.
